In desire to reform

Bad can never do away with what is bad. It requires a different approach. It is common observation that even if a father is uneducated and has a rough language, he would have an innate desire for his children to have better moral standards; be finer than his own personality is and be more educated. But all this will not happen by leaving children at the mercy of time and by not making deliberate efforts to this end. Parents need to review their approach the way they deal with the children. For example, if a father sees his child uttering rough words or by chance smoking a cigarette leftover, in 99 percent cases in my observation the corrective measure of father would be giving some even harsher words to the child with some violent action, be it couple of slaps, or whips. Actually what father unintentionally is doing is that he conveying four negative messages to the child in one single action. One, if prohibiting him with a harsh word, he is adding to his rough vocabulary another ugly word. Second, he his teaching him to violence. Third, he is creating resistance in behaviour. Fourth, he is teaching him to be reactive whenever there is a problem to face. Hence, behaviourial change towards children should be proactively pursued by the parents by acting differently and making deliberate efforts. If you smoke and your child has started smoking leftovers, stop smoking at home anymore. If you use rough language and your child has learned to utter those words, reform your words and discard rough words from your language. If you backbite and your child has started doing same, quit this habit right away. Making your child a hero, a criminal, a book lover, a fine gentlemen or a creative personality is 99 per cent is in your hand. Stop shifting blame to society and children. Blame yourself and later reform yourselves for the future of your children, society and humanity in the longer run!

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